OAKRIDGE BIBLE CHAPEL

Marriage, Divorce, and the Disciple of Jesus Christ (Mark 10:1–12)

Introduction

Please turn in your Bibles to Mark 10. When you get there you’ll probably notice a title over verse 1 put in place by the translation team that reads something like “Marriage and Divorce” or “Jesus’ teaching about divorce.” As we’ll see shortly, these titles are accurate descriptions of the text that follows.

The topics of marriage and divorce can invoke a number of different responses at the outset of our time together. Some may be tempted to tune out because of disinterest or perceived inapplicability. Others may be nervous or uncomfortable because this is an issue that hits very close to home.

Those are understandable reactions. But I think we can agree that, in the day-in-age in which we’re living, God’s people need more clarity on issues surrounding marriage and not less. And that’s true regardless of our current marital status. We go to his Word because we’re desperate for truth, guidance, courage, comfort, healing, and for his grace. And we trust that, by the power of his Holy Spirit, we will all receive just what we need this morning.

In the day-in-age in which we’re living, God’s people need more clarity on issues surrounding marriage and not less.

Getting up, [Jesus] went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan; crowds gathered around him again, and, according to his custom, he once more began to teach them.

Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing him, and began to question him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. And he answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”

They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”

But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

In the house the disciples began questioning him about this again. And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”

Mark 10:1–12

The world’s confusion: The trivialization of marriage

In an argument or debate, the use of loaded questions is a way to trap your opponent by disguising assumptions and accusations in the form of a question. For example: Is your neighbour still complaining about your body odour? It’s a trap! Either way you answer, you’re admitting you stink or you stank.

That’s what the Pharisees are trying to do to Jesus in Mark 10. They load up a question full of landmines wanting him to embarrass and discredit himself: “… [they] began to question him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife” (v. 2b).

To understand how this is a loaded question, we need to appreciate the context. In the 1st-century, there were two main rabbinic schools of thought on the issue of divorce. The less popular view was that a husband could give his wife a certificate of divorce in the case of sexual immorality. The second, and more widely held, view was that divorce could take place if the husband was offended for basically any reason—a bad meal, perceived insubordination, or anything else. In fact, a well known Jewish historian of that era, Josephus, divorced his wife for “not liking her behaviour.” His words.

So, two views on divorce in the 1st-century: The adultery-only camp and the whatever-reason camp. Now, notice that in both the permissibility of divorce was generally unquestioned. It was allowed, accepted, and mainstream. It’s against this cultural backdrop that the Pharisees ask Jesus: “What’s your view?” It’s a trap. Whatever his response, he’s going to make enemies.

I think there’s another factor at play here.

Getting up, he went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan; 

Mark 10:1a

They’re in the territory governed by Herod Antipas, the same Herod that, back in chapter 6, had John the Baptist imprisoned and eventually beheaded. Do you remember the charge?

For Herod himself had sent and had John arrested and bound in prison on account of Herodias, the wife of his brother Philip, because he had married her. For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”

Mark 6:17–18

John spoke out against Herod’s understanding of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, and it had him, ultimately, killed.

Maybe I’m a conspiracy theorist, but I think the Pharisees had that in the back of their minds when they asked Jesus to publicly state his views on divorce. It’s a trap.

All that to say, Mark is ushering his readers into the world’s confusion surrounding this topic. Just as today, people in the 1st-century suffered from a trivialization of marriage. Their understanding of what it is and what it is supposed to be had fallen a long ways form God’s ideal.

The confusion of the world is highlighted when Jesus points his examiners back to the Mosaic law (the authority to which they admittedly submitted), they respond by quoting from Deuteronomy 24 in verse 4: “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”

Let’s fact-check that claim. Is that what Moses said? 

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife, and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.

Deuteronomy 24:1–4

Did Moses give permission for divorce in the passage the Pharisees are quoting? No way. As Jesus points out in Mark 10:5, “Because of your hardness of heart [Moses] wrote you this commandment.”

The people were already sinfully divorcing their wives when Moses wrote that law. He’s not permitting anything. In his law he’s trying to stop the bleeding of sin by forbidding the remarriage and maybe even strengthening the second marriages. The Pharisees viewed Moses’ permission as God’s desire, but Jesus viewed it as a divine concession.

This is a perfect example of what we call eisegesis, that is, reading into Scripture what they wanted it to say, justifying what they had already decided was appropriate, and, in effect, trivialized the institution of marriage.

The Pharisees viewed Moses’ permission as God’s desire, but Jesus viewed it as a divine concession.

The world we live in today is no less confused about marriage. If we were to walk around and survey people in Oakville, I have no doubt we’d hear evidence of trivialization. From the matter-of-fact assertion that marriage before living together is like buying a car without a test-drive to casual description of “falling out of love” and the idea that personality compatibility is a chief cornerstone of a solid marriage relationship. I think we can agree that our world, and not excluding the church, is just as confused as was 1st-century Israel.

Our God’s instruction: The permanence of marriage

Jesus cuts right through the world’s confusion in verse 6 and contrasts it with God’s instruction. Rather than the trivialization of marriage, our Lord highlights the permanence of marriage. He does this by taking the Pharisees back past Deuteronomy and all the way to the first two chapters of Genesis: “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female” (v. 6).

That’s Genesis 1:27 emphasizing the distinction of genders. Then Jesus moves to Genesis 2:24.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Mark 10:7–9

It’s hard to miss what Jesus is emphasizing in his response to the Pharisees: “united … no longer two, but onejoined … one flesh.” The husband and wife, while they are distinct, when God joins them in marriage, there is a miraculous oneness made, something that goes beyond contracts and vows. 

And since this one-fleshness is divinely created, humans are incapable of uncreating it. Marriage is not an agreement of temporary convenience that may be pulled apart at will. While the world trivializes out of confusion, God’s instruction is that of a divine permanence.

The disciples need clarification and, once they’re away from the crowds, they ask for it. Jesus replies plainly.

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”

Mark 10:11–12

According to Jesus in Mark 10, divorce is wrong, but remarriage after divorce is worse because it propagates sin.

Now, many of you are thinking But isn’t there biblical grounds for divorce given elsewhere? And you’re right, there are. In fact, Matthew’s description of this same account in the 19th chapter of his gospel, Jesus includes one:

He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Matthew 19:8–9

There we have one possible permission already.

Did Mark just forget? Did this detail slip his mind. Obviously not. Mark’s recording of this event is structured in such a way as to serve the point he’s making in his gospel as a whole.

This is an important Bible-reading principle for us to grasp. Authors have an agenda and shape their writing to meet that agenda.

Imagine a young teacher decides to go to a concert in Toronto on a weeknight. At work the next day, she’s asked about the experience by three different groups of people: co-workers in the staff room, her 6th graders in class, and her parents via text message. To each audience this teacher is going to report honestly and accurately but, obviously, the descriptions given will be tailored to the expectations and needs of the three different audiences. To co-workers she may talk about the music, the dancing, the night of freedom from grading. To the students: the venue, the art of music, and the diversity of the attendees. To her parents, perhaps safety will be the focus and her responsible actions.

It’s one event being retold to different audiences, the needs of whom shape the retelling of the story. None of them are necessarily inaccurate or deceptive.

We can think of the gospel accounts in the same way. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all are describing the same historical happenings, but, inspired by the Holy Spirit, they are shaping their accounts to serve an agenda and to meet specific needs of specific audiences.

Mark is writing to 1st-century Roman believers and describing for them what it looks like to be a faithful follower of Jesus Christ often in the face of a culture that doesn’t like you. And Jesus’ teaching on divorce fits into that agenda. A comprehensive view of the Bible’s teaching on marriage, divorce, and remarriage must take into account the entirety of Scripture—not a task we’re undertaking. Today, we want to understand what Mark is communicating.

Throughout the first nine chapters of Mark’s gospel there has been a reoccurring theme of sacrifice and it culminates in the gut-shot demand of 8:34, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me.” At this point of the book, Mark has the readers examining almost every facet of their lives, prepared to give it all up for the sake of following Jesus.

But, Jesus, in chapter 10, almost pumps the breaks on that mentality of sacrifice. In case anyone would imaging that self-denying, cross-carrying discipleship includes the trivialization or abandonment of marriage, Jesus says think again.

Instead, our Lord emphasizes the divine oneness in marriage and its permanence. “What God has joined together, let man not separate.”

The disciples’ commission: Follow Jesus “one-fleshed”!

While we’ve seen in this passage, the world’s confusion and God’s instruction, we close by acknowledging the disciples’ commission: Follow Jesus “one-fleshed”! This is the assignment of anyone who would come after Jesus, anyone who desires to live a God-honouring Christian life. We are to follow Jesus “one-fleshed” celebrating and revering the unique unity that husband and wife share. Let me suggest some ways this applies to four different groups in this room.

To those unmarried but anticipating marriage: Do not settle for a spouse who is not a self-denying cross-carrying disciple of Jesus. Next to your decision to trust Christ for your salvation, your one-flesh partner is the most important decision you will make in your Christian life. Please do not compromise on who it is you’re praying for and who it is you’re looking for. And, in the meantime, focus your energy on becoming the type of disciple that your future spouse will benefit from.

To those unmarried and uninterested in marriage: Whether you’ve never been married or your marriage ended, the Lord has you feeling content in your singleness. Praise God. The Apostle Paul would cheer you on and so do we! I ask that you give your church family a biblical model of God-honouring singleness. The church can at times seem to make the mistake of holding marriage up as either the culmination of sanctification or, at least, a necessary part of it. Scripture says both states—marriage and singleness—are gifts from God.

To those who have lived through the trauma of divorce: Know that there is healing, forgiveness, comfort, and encouragement available in our great God. He is near the brokenhearted. Like a loving Father, he cares when we hurt. Cast it all on him and leave it with him. I would encourage you to ask the Lord to help you with any bitterness or disillusionment you have with the institution of marriage and I would challenge you to use your experiences to help others avoid confusion and see the potential beauty of marriage.

To those married and together following Christ: Honour that oneness. Ask God for the grace and strength to hold tight, remembering that marriage is for my holiness more than for my happiness. Commit yourself anew this morning to following Jesus one-fleshed to committing to your spouse, by sacrificing yourself for your spouse, by pursuing holiness together with your spouse.

There’s a lot of confusion out there, and probably in here, when it comes to marriage. Let’s cling to God’s instruction, celebrate the permanence of marriage, and, with his help, follow Jesus one-fleshed, together. 

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Josiah has served the Oakridge Bible Chapel family as one of its elders and one of its pastoral staff members since September 2018, before which he ministered as an associate pastor to a local congregation in the Canadian prairies. Josiah's desire is to be used by God to help equip the church for ministry, both while gathered (edification) and while scattered (evangelization). He is married to Patricia, and together they have five children—Jonah, Henry, Nathaniel, Josephine, and Benjamin.

Josiah Boyd

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